Alright I did it!! Here it is, I am exposed! This is what I took like without a lick of makeup on. This has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. I pray this gets easier as the days go by. Thank you for your responses and support!!! I have a couple of women that have committed to going on this journey with me. I am so grateful.
I am learning a lot about myself already. I am learning that I am so absorbed in the way I look. I have noticed that when people have talked to me today, I have caught myself looking down and putting my hand kind of over my face. How have I made such a small thing(makeup) the ruler of my life? I almost feel like I have to explain to people why I look the way I do. How sad is that, that I feel I have to explain why the Creator of the universe made me the way He did. Who am I to question His work?
I have sent up alot of prayers today. A matter of fact I have been praying Psalm 139:14 quite a bit. I got a little boost of confidence last night when my sweet little Annie-Sarah looked at me and said, "Mommy you look beautiful!" I am so thankful that she has not picked up on our society's belief that we have to look "perfect." I am having to learn to look over comments from students because they have noticed that I look a little different. One K-4 student this morning looked at me and said, " Mrs. Clements are you sick, you look sick?" One of my students said, "Mrs. Clements why are your eyes so red, they don't look good?" That student then remember that I am making a change in my life and said he was sorry that he forgot that today marked the day of a new me. I though that was very sweet and I was glad that he had been listening to me.
If you feel that it is silly that I am this wrapped up in such a small aspect of life, then you might want to reflect on your life and see what silly little thing is hindering you from fully worshiping and surrendering to God. Pray for me today, I need it!
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